you cant be that far away from me ; if we're looking on the same side of the moon

Monday, December 11, 2006

Ok Everyone, This is a love hate post that i'm gonna type right now. Read it if you want but don't bother asking me what happen cause i've stated everything i have to say in here and i'm lazy to repeat it. Ok heres the love part. My brother's band seraph hd this gig at MOS flow and as usual i'm incharge of the make up etc etc. It was really cool cause dennis, jeff, jiro and i stayed over at rachel's house. We were like dying our hair in yes the colors that we're having now. And watching initial D YES GUYS I HAVE NEVER WATCHED INITIAL D B4!! *big deal* hoho~ My brothers were hilarous that night man. We wanted to get some sleep at ard 3am + 4am but we had a litte bitching session before we did. Was sharing rachel's bed with my bro cause she went to her brother's room to sleep you see. At first i think its pretty weird though, i mean ok i'm a pretty open to alot of topics but i still feel weird being too physical with someone even if i know the person very well you see. But it all cooled down when both of us really fell asleep. Actually, its pretty cosy having someone to sleep beside you. When we woke up we're like rushing everything man, we rushed our macs breakfast etc etc. I did this very cool makeup that day that i love alot. hoho~ We thought we were very late so we took a cab down to MOS instead.. >.< I'm broke that night cause of it. T.T

Took this photo in MOS's toilet. The toilet there's HUGE man.. but wait until the crowd really comes in.. After that you'll feel its not big enough.. -.-

Rachel and i in the cab. Don't we 2 just look so immortal.. =)

And me outside rachel's house.. Ok i have no idea why the uploading of pictures in in the other way but oh well you still get to see the photos anyway..

Anyway, when we got there, the whole set was dragged for 3 fucking hours before the soundcheck can really start. Boring boring boring..... We went to meet up with jia ying and her mom and had dinner at liang court. And FINALLY! everything started.
Ok obviously we're the crowd that dresses ALO and when i say alot means really ALOT different from the crowd that day. Well judging by my photos above, you can tell right? If not you don't know me so you can just get out of my blog. But then again, even a mentally disabled person can tell so doesnt really matter. Anyway, Seraph didnt do well that nbight. Think its pretty much because they're too nervous and such. Judging by the amount of people in MOS that night. But no matter, i got sabotaged on stage and i meant what i said, I'm just tghere to do my job and have some fun. =) West grand boulevard was great that night man.. Moshijng is good for you.. I have to admit that that night i was one of the moshers.. LOL! but i ran away when the bguards were there.. =P ya i did shout i love daphne and such, but i'm pretty glad she's leaving ahz cos i think bryan suits west grand more than her. Flights of fancy is still the best man. Tien was great too... Concept Scream shocked me man! Their songs are real good. The vox ended their set well. I'm sorry but i don't really enjoyed plain sunset cause i think their music is rather plain. i missed saw losers cause it seems to me that having my cig was more important at that moment. LOL!

OK! hey comes the hate part of that night. Divine 9! Yes i loved their set that night alot and i think their music was superb. But i here by declare one thing. BANDS OUT THERE! I may not be anything in your eyes but the fact is you're nothing to me either. I can headbang n mosh and scream how much i love you during gigs BUT when everything ends i'm still just another person on the street who appreciates music and wants nothing more than music. i don't give a shit about your fame and how "forturnate" i am to be able to talk to you and get close to you. I approached you meerly to tell you how much i enjoyed the set and hope you guys will keep up the good work. Not because i wanna stuck up on you and let people think that i'm always close with all the famous bands. Yes i have to agree that because of my outwardness towards the bands that i have befriend with a few of them. but even if i wasn't given a chance to talk to them. I really don't give a shit. I have a band myself and i'm working hard for my band so that we can bring people good music too. i'm not as retarded as those fangirls out there. Please do not put me as the same ranking as them. and if you really wanna argue with me about this case, ok i DID stuck up on 1 rocker and that is Levan. not because he's sexy and stuff but its because he impacted my life with his songs abnd that single hug he gave me when i 1st approached him to tell him how much i enjoyed the set. He made me feel like i'm not being myself and he made me feel like i should really change. He inspired me to inspire people and bring good music to life. He's the ONLY one in my life that i did really want to be good friends with after a gig. Other then that... I doubt so.. Romey's someone who's in my friend's band so its different. Cause he's a friend already i don't have to go know him we'll naturally know each other. So ya... so talking to you, telling you how much i love your set, listening to you saying alot of very glorious visions and helping you carry your stuff doesnt mean i'm i'm stucking up on you. I'm just doing what a normal person would do. it doesnt nessery to be your band cause i help all the bands i know to carry their stuff if they need any help. Sorry amelia, i have to say, i'm still very very very pissed about what happened that day. IF you were to be smart and cautious enough to know that a bunch of caucasian guys in a hotel room with 2 rather sexy ladies, something's gonna happen, i wouldn't be so pissed in the first place. You're really acting like another pamela. you know why? cause you're dragging me down into your love life. HEY! I've NEVER ONCE! in my life dragged ANYONE other than myself into my messed up relationship life. In fact all my friends know is only .. " Oh Aries attached now.. huh?! broke up already? why so sudden? 2mths ago you just told me you 2 were together." so why the fuck you drag me down into yours? You wanna know when you did it? oh here it goes. the very FIRST incident, Kazu, the relationship you guys have has NOTHING to do with me. But you guys just HAVE to drag everyone down with your quarrels, arguements and disagreements. Don't say its only kazu. cos you're at fault aso. cause you're the one who's not decisive enough to make choices. Don't tell me about settling. Things are not as hard as it seems. God wouldn't give you things you cant settle. Its just that you're just running away and you don't know it. do some soul searching before to tell me about what ever you think cause what ever you say now may makes sense but in time to come it doesnt anymore. Don't ask me what can you do about it if i'm so smart because i don't know how. for me i wouldn't start a relationship if i know its not going to work out in the 1st place. doesnt that saved you alot of trouble? and kinda think of it, WHAT EVER you once told me, about having this cosplay team, about being goth chicks, but renting a room, about organising gigs about ALOT of things.. are just all talk no action. Cosplay team, you know i have done more work on the team when i'm with ashley and kei than i'm with you? yes u have all the information but they're the ones doing the work. We all crashed at kei's place just to see details of the charters n such. Then you'll ask why we didnt ask you over. Cause you always have these bunch of crazy reasons backing you up, "i'm working." , "don't want la i think this this this that that that way is much better." , " no la blah blah blah blah.." you have 15 off days per mth, this is what you called busy with work? i only only 8 off days per mth n i do do alot more things then you. what does this show? Don't tell me about you being the "more leader" role in the team cause its ashley who's the one who's doing all the work. you ONLY did the purchasing of the book and asking us out for meeting right? When did these meetings ever successful i ask you? i Seriously think its because of my trust to you that things ended up this way.But anyway, back to the point, you simply dragged everyone down. Friends are always there for each other, but not up the the extend that we want them to be in trouble along with us lei. Its more of I'm in trouble and they're helping me to recover from the pain. Not join in my pain. Don't tell me that i'm telling you all the things that you already know cause you're not acting like you know it. Then the next one. MARK! fucking hell you're the one who likes him, don't keep asking me to help you out.. You know by doing this it makes me look like some uber KPO?! what kawai said was right man.. My intentions are good but it always seems like i'm diggijng into other people's busniess.. I want to tell you this. You have no right over anyone over your life, Not me, not jiro, not queen, not purple not ka cha... in fact NO ONE! don't tell me.. " but i'm your mother!, But i'm his sister! " Sorry u're important but not that important. even our own blood parents we aso dun bother le why you? really tell me.. why you? Tell us things that makes sense, don't tell us things that makes u sound like you make sense. if u really wanna say right. MOTHER WOULDN'T EVEN LET HER DAUGHTER TAG ALONG TO A GUY'S HOTEL ROOM! not to mention a bunch of them. I know i'm too old to be a virgin but i'm proud about it. i'm just another normal girl qwho wants to loss it to someone who i thought i'm madly in love with etc etc.. not through a one night stand and this message goes to mark as well. don't tell me that you saved me in the end cause you're the one who dragged me into this shit. you KNEW that i didnt slept for 2 days, you knew that i wasnt comfortable, you knew.... but you still allow it to happen.. don't tell me its my own fault that i wanted to rest cos if you know you have to force yourself to be awake why go in the 1st place? OH! cause of mark right? which part of my face tells u i'm interested in mark aso? its only you right? THEN DON'T FUCKING DRAG ME DOWN! You know what pamela would do? she'd say she don't wanna go in the 1st place. or she'll drag me to go but once she knows i'm uncomfortable she'll say we'd leave. After this incident i really think you're worse than her. Don't say that i compare you to her and its unfair to you or you're not her etc etc... cos this only shows one thing. you're a lousier friend. you're not her cause she's better. I didn't wanna entertain more of your lies and things that you assured that wld never happen. i'm pisseed and i'm disappointed. i wanted to pretend that all these thihngs never happened.. but i couldn't. nope not at all. cause i can no longer tolerate your bimboism. What is a bimbo? A bimso is a girl who always things who's right, thinks everyone else she not as strong and cool and clever as her, thinking everyone don't understand her yet expects them to do so *i'm sorry i have my own problems too i don't understand your foolish obsession with things that you obviously know yet act like you dunno*,making ridiculous assummsions and pushing all the blame to other people. Don't tell me that those girls on TV and those fangirls ard you are bimbos cos you act EXACTLY like them. Don't tell me you don't need a guy cause you really do. you make stupid mistakes when you don't have a guy beside you. Everyone needs to be loved , don't act like you don't need it. that means 1 thing, you're not being yourself and you're lieing to yourself. logics and storys are easily said than done. You can sound as mature as you want but if you're thinking is still like that.. forget about being mature you're never there. As i always say. i'm only 16, if i can say that, why cant you? I do agree that i've been a very irresponsible, low self esteem, indecisive little brat. but now things are going to change. Don't tell me without you i wouldn't be me today. Don't tell me you'd be more accomplished than me. Don't tell me that you're the one who brought me all what i have now. Cause i can tell you. you're not. I agree that i do have my own charm. And you agreed with it too. i have ways to achieve my goal. in a clean manner. i don't go around flirting and such just to get things i want. Cause until now i TRUELY belive in friendship. thats about it. go think about what you have been doing recently and really considfer what you wanna do in the future. Stop wasting your time on unnessesary things. and stop running away..

& 11:36 AM

Hoho.. This is 1 thing i HAVE to put up on my blog. Ever seen bleach characters playing time crisis 4? There you go~

& 11:32 AM

Monday, December 11, 2006

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