you cant be that far away from me ; if we're looking on the same side of the moon

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

haiz... quarrelled with my mom last night... she sucked as a mom i tell you... she really did... i told her..." what i really wanted is a mother not an atm. i don't care about having a hp i don't care about starving abit. I just want to have a place where when i open the door i know i have a mom cooking dinner for me. When i have no need to go out and eat all the time. I know by saying all these hurts you. Why i click with my dad more even though he never gave me $? Cos i know when i need someone to talk to he'll be there.. .He did what a father is suppose to do. It hurts me as well cos i care4d but i know if i don't tell you this then things will be worse." and you know what the fuck she replyed? " I'm not hurt. i expected all these already cos the fortune teller told me all these. He already told me my kids will be siding their fathers and i'll work like a horse all day until the day i died." I'm like.. WTF?! You're fucking blaming all this shit to fate?! Please.... I do fortune telling too alright? and fortune telling is to let you know what you should do... Not the other way round... Thats y i say i hate chinese fortune tellers.. always give to much detail... they deserve to do to hell n burn... I was so puissed that i told her.." you don't even wanna try and you're blaming everything on fate. You really sucked as a mother lo.. Does that mean if i walk out of the house and died its just fate?" And she said yes... WTF! then might as well don't give birth to me.. what kind of fucking mother is this? Tell you what... my okasan amelia is doing a better job as a mother to me then you! as i said.. you're not my mother anymore... you're just some auntie who gives me $ and i have to work for it by cleaning up the house... and thats sad i tell you... But NO you still don't understand you fucking blame it on fate... ok now i tell you... fate tells me that i'll kill my brother and earn a millon. fate tells me you will go to hell n burn cos you sucked as a mom.. fate tells me that you'll lose all your kids and your family and you'll be all alone cos of your fucking attitude and belief... Let me guess... she'll say.." ya its fate lo bo pian." go to hell and burn mother fucker! Care... please... if money is care right... Haiwei loves me through the deepest depth of his heart already lo... If money is love.. i love my brother le lo cos he force so much $ out of me already... if money is honesty, my sister will stop lieing since she stole so much money from me... wtf! go to hell!

& 11:36 AM

Sunday, April 23, 2006

ok la fuck blogspot... was uploading my post then in the end it only came out the ending part... fuck blogspot!!! ok... have to find just now that kind of emotion back 1st... LOL! ok.......... today i went to gombak to meet loki to go to koyuki's house to prepare for Rei's gig at Y east Marine cove. I was late for 35mins + cos i woke up late... >.< Lucky the others were all late.. bowhahaha... After preparing their costume and stuff, we took koyuki's wife charlotte's dad's van to marine cove... there where 10 of us, me, loki, koyuki, charlotte, Cedric, cedric's gf lilian, Destructos, destructos's gf Xing, Mike and Hyde. We all sqeeuze into the van just nicely.. LOL! I was the 1 leading the road... argh! why am i the only east sider!!! >.< lucky i didnt screw up the journey to the east from the west...

This is for Destructos... I was pretty upset at first when i got to know that you had a gf. Not only because i'm the last one to know, and also because i actually wanted to continue admiring you and looking after you from a far until u finally graduate and have the time to be commited to a relationship. I wanted to use the next 12mths to change myself for the better cause i always thought that i'm not good enough for you. You're the coolest dude i ever met and i doubt i'll ever meet another one despite so many people telling me i will. I was pretty miserable for the past few days but now i'm not anymore and its also because of you. I really have to thank you for that. Cause you made my band dreams come true. At the start when this whole band thing started out, i told myelf...

1: i wanted to be a part of the band... Now i am... I'm very glad that i'm recognise by you guys!

2: 1 wanted to sew the band's costume.. especially yours.. And now i did...

3: I wanted to do the make up of the band.. Definately put more interest in helping you cause you never did make up.,, and i did!!!

4: i wanted to click with every1 of the band members.. And now i am.. =) Used to have a hard time chatting with kurei that asshole and you.. i'm not good at absorbing things...

5: To be able to sit down and have a very fun chat with every1 again.. Cause i feel that i annoyed you pretty much cos of my voice and the way i talk... And tonight we did had fun at the coffee shop.. LOL!

Its like... Today i really felt happy... Never felt so happy for months... seriously! Now you're the one who i look up to and respect as a big brother. Nothing more than that don't worry... I have finally forsaken the silly idea of having an obsession towards you~ LOL... I give you and Xing all my blessing from the deepest depth of my heart. LOL~ *all this sound mushy i know* =)

Ya this part is for Rei.. I'm a very emotional person so this is something i wanna tell you guys.. You guys rock! Cedric i'm really happy that you joined the band! Seriously... i feel so proud you for guys.. i don't know why i just feel so proud.. Today's performance is really great! You guys bought my joy that has helped me overcome my past. Why did i say this? simple reason.. During the gig, i saw my ex's bf's "best friend". you see... this bastard is the one who got me believing in my ex when its all just a bet about making a little innocent girl * i was very innocent at that time... TRUST ME ON THAT!* i was at that time in being with my ex. When i saw him sitting down watching the gig, I felt so pissed and humiliated that i just couldn't stop feeling terrible. But when you guys performed, it gives me the pride feeling that the sick feeling that bastard gave me. Its like, why the fuck will i wanna be bothered about the past when i have this band to look after for? This band who bring me joy when i go to their jamming sessions supporting them. So ya.... You guys are cool... yup yup... i know all these sound so mushy and weird but thats how i feel and more importantly..... THIS IS MY FUCKING BLOG I CAN TYPE WANNA EVER SHIT I WANT!!! LOL~ =P

This is Rei~ *left to right* Destructos aka kaimatsu, Koyuki, Cedric, Kasumi aka Mike, Hyde
They haven put their make up on yet.. But once i have the picture i'll upload~ hehehe...

Yup this is the make up i did for Dest.. I'm so sorry! until now then i noticed that i didnt do your left eye properly.. don't worry next time i'll be more careful... the teeth is drawn by koyuki cos when he's on stage it looked as if he just put on light makeup... the teeth aint drawn nicely but we'll have another go the next time.. cos i noticed that the teeth aint drawn according to his jawline thats y it looks very weird... ya we'll have another go next time.

tea~ this is the longest blog post i have ever typed b$!! LOL! *peace*

& 2:06 AM

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Sunday, April 23, 2006

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